So it's my day off from work and M and I had plans to hang out today. Well we were texting back and forth all day while we were both running errands and he just stopped responding. So once again, I've wasted an entire day waiting for him when I could have gone home to see my friends.
Now I'm at my apartment watching movies all night. Currently watching 10 Things I Hate About You and it got me thinking what I would have said if I were her. So this is what I came up with:
I hate the way you play those games, I hate the way you hide. I hate how you live in black and white, I hate it when you lie. I hate how we make plans, but then you never call. I hate it when we're at work, you act like you don't know me at all. I hate how perfect you are, I hate how sweet you can be. But what I hate the most is that every night I go to bed knowing you aren't with me.
Of course as I'm writing this he texted me saying sorry I feel asleep and just woke up. Great....Well tomorrow is Valentines Day. And of course M and I are scheduled to close the store together, so we will just see what happens. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though just in case of nothing happens I won't be as disappointed.
So Happy Singles Awareness Day everyone!! I know I will be celebrating :)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
So now what?
I figured it's time for an update. I gave him his space for a while and eventually everything went back to normal like we were still just friends. We were hanging out again having fun at his house and work.
Well two nights ago I went to his house and we decided to go in the jacuzzi and have some drinks...more specifically tequila. Well last thing I remember is hooking up with him in the jacuzzi in front of his roommate #1 right after the cops came. I woke up the next morning in his room. Not my finest moment.
I had bruises all over my legs and was beyond hungover. Later that day, M's roommate #2 told me that he knew him and I were hooking up. Busted!!!
So now what do I do? M doesn't want to talk about it and I don't think we will. I brought it up to him and his response was "well what the f*** is he gonna do about it?" which is a good point. I mean yes we work together but our work was never affected.
So if this whole incident has proved anything it's that clearly there is still too much of an attraction between us. I know there is something strong between us and I hope that it works out in the end. You can only hold back feelings for so long, but for right now I'm going to distance myself again so he doesn't feel smothered. He needs space as time to figure this out. And I think I do too.
Oh Jose, you've done me dirty once again ;)
Well two nights ago I went to his house and we decided to go in the jacuzzi and have some drinks...more specifically tequila. Well last thing I remember is hooking up with him in the jacuzzi in front of his roommate #1 right after the cops came. I woke up the next morning in his room. Not my finest moment.
I had bruises all over my legs and was beyond hungover. Later that day, M's roommate #2 told me that he knew him and I were hooking up. Busted!!!
So now what do I do? M doesn't want to talk about it and I don't think we will. I brought it up to him and his response was "well what the f*** is he gonna do about it?" which is a good point. I mean yes we work together but our work was never affected.
So if this whole incident has proved anything it's that clearly there is still too much of an attraction between us. I know there is something strong between us and I hope that it works out in the end. You can only hold back feelings for so long, but for right now I'm going to distance myself again so he doesn't feel smothered. He needs space as time to figure this out. And I think I do too.
Oh Jose, you've done me dirty once again ;)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
My bad!
Well, I'm at his house right now. He broke up with his girlfriend last night. I've been doing my best to just be friends and I still messed up. I got a little too drunk and said something I shouldn't have. Great....
Seriously I'm so hopeless now. I don't even know how to begin fixing this. All I can do is wait I guess...ugh
Seriously I'm so hopeless now. I don't even know how to begin fixing this. All I can do is wait I guess...ugh
Monday, January 30, 2012
He loves me, he loves me not?
Well, it's been a week since I've moved into my new place. And it's been a week of too much craziness!!!
I will keep it pretty summarized. M and I got together. It finally happened. We spent 4 nights in a row with each other either at his house or mine. It was amazing!! He admitted to me he had feelings for me for a while and that he always thought of me. He even promised he wouldn't hurt me.
So the days were flying by and I felt like it was a fairy tale I was in! I would always ask him if it was real and he would reply with "yes as real as it can get". It was perfect. Waking up in his arms every morning was so great. When he would leave for work he would kiss me on the cheek. I can't even describe how happy I was.
Then all of the sudden, BOOM. It was over. He was avoiding me and wouldn't say more than 10 words to me even at work. So all of the sudden he tells me that work is too important as we should have known better..I was beyond crushed. I had finally gotten what I wanted and it was taken away. He promised he wouldn't hurt me then broke that promise within a week of saying it.
It's weird. I know it all happened but I've been in a horrible daze. At work and at home. I don't feel welcome around him. It's like he looks at me like an annoyance. Maybe it all happened too soon or maybe too fast. It was overwhelming. But I've made the right choice to let it go for now. It sucks but I would rather have him as a friend then nothing at all. Hopefully him and I will get out of this rut and go back to how things were before. We had such a strong friendship, that's what I'm really missing now. But what I can't get out of my head is that I know if he came up to me tomorrow and asked to try it again, I would in a heartbeat. I will wait for that day to come. I'm just a hopeless romantic...
I love this picture. He wrote it one night at work and slipped it to me. Its little things like this that I miss so much now.
I will keep it pretty summarized. M and I got together. It finally happened. We spent 4 nights in a row with each other either at his house or mine. It was amazing!! He admitted to me he had feelings for me for a while and that he always thought of me. He even promised he wouldn't hurt me.
So the days were flying by and I felt like it was a fairy tale I was in! I would always ask him if it was real and he would reply with "yes as real as it can get". It was perfect. Waking up in his arms every morning was so great. When he would leave for work he would kiss me on the cheek. I can't even describe how happy I was.
Then all of the sudden, BOOM. It was over. He was avoiding me and wouldn't say more than 10 words to me even at work. So all of the sudden he tells me that work is too important as we should have known better..I was beyond crushed. I had finally gotten what I wanted and it was taken away. He promised he wouldn't hurt me then broke that promise within a week of saying it.
It's weird. I know it all happened but I've been in a horrible daze. At work and at home. I don't feel welcome around him. It's like he looks at me like an annoyance. Maybe it all happened too soon or maybe too fast. It was overwhelming. But I've made the right choice to let it go for now. It sucks but I would rather have him as a friend then nothing at all. Hopefully him and I will get out of this rut and go back to how things were before. We had such a strong friendship, that's what I'm really missing now. But what I can't get out of my head is that I know if he came up to me tomorrow and asked to try it again, I would in a heartbeat. I will wait for that day to come. I'm just a hopeless romantic...
I love this picture. He wrote it one night at work and slipped it to me. Its little things like this that I miss so much now.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Wow, you two are meant to be together!
Yup, that's what one of my best friends just told me. I'm moving tomorrow morning for my job. I can't wait because now I will be closer to M and I will be at a job that I absolutely love! I stayed the night at his house the other day because we were at work late. We got back to his place and had margaritas and stayed up until 3 talking.
One thing I love about him is that we never have a dull moment. Even if we are somewhere and there is silence it's never awkward. We always have something to talk about. There have even been days where we had no plans and somehow those turned out to be some of the best days we've spent together.
So fast forward to now. My friend S came over today to say goodbye/help me pack more stuff. I was telling her about M and explaining the whole situation and of course she said it sounded like the perfect love story. Unfortunately I'm still waiting for that happy ending to arrive.
Looks like according to everyone we are meant to be together. He just hasn't realized it yet. But it did make me feel better when all of my friends unanimously agreed that I was better looking than his girlfriend. So, I can fall asleep with a smile on my face knowing that. Yay :)
One thing I love about him is that we never have a dull moment. Even if we are somewhere and there is silence it's never awkward. We always have something to talk about. There have even been days where we had no plans and somehow those turned out to be some of the best days we've spent together.
So fast forward to now. My friend S came over today to say goodbye/help me pack more stuff. I was telling her about M and explaining the whole situation and of course she said it sounded like the perfect love story. Unfortunately I'm still waiting for that happy ending to arrive.
Looks like according to everyone we are meant to be together. He just hasn't realized it yet. But it did make me feel better when all of my friends unanimously agreed that I was better looking than his girlfriend. So, I can fall asleep with a smile on my face knowing that. Yay :)
Every time we hang out at my house, we sit on the counters and have our deep conversations. These are the moments I live for!
BTW I'm totally in love with my new UGG boots that I recently bought :)
Friday, January 20, 2012
Introduction...
I barely know where to begin. I created this blog because I need to get all of this out in the open without changing any of the close relationships I have. This will be my escape from the harsh reality of love, friendship, and life. Don't get me wrong, they are all great, but some days I wish I could just write it all out and leave it there. I'm creating this blog not only to let me express my truly honest feelings, but I hope if anyone ever stumbles upon this, they too will find that they either can relate to it or have related to it in the past.
Just looking at the title of this blog, it's set mainly around boys. More specifically, one boy. A boy I can't get. I know, cue the violins! No, it's not like that. He is my best friend and I am crazy in love with him. Now here's the kicker....he has a girlfriend. Even worse, she is only 17 and still in high school. I know this sounds like a Taylor Swift song, but it's my life right now. I hang out with him everyday, whether it is at work or at one of our houses. He stays the night at my place, I sleep on his couch with him. We are literally inseperable. There were months at a time were we would have sleepovers 5 out of the 7 days a week. Now, when I say sleepovers, I don't mean hooking up because that's not whats going down. Me being 21 and him 20, we stay up late either talking or watching movies, especially Disney movies :)
So, where did this all begin? We started working together a little over two years ago at a new restaurant that opened. We instantly got along because of all the similarities we share. Fastforward to now and you will find our friendship fully grown into us being BFF's (no we have never actually said BFF to one another). So why am I in such a pickle? Because I believe he has feelings for me too, but he is stuck. No, I'm not one of those girls who thinks she can get anyone. If anything I have no self esteem! But too many moments have occured where he has said something or done something suggesting more than friendly gestures.
How do I change this situation I'm in? This is a question I ask myself daily. Being his best friend, I would never do anything to purposely jeopardize his relationship with her, but I hate sitting back watching her break him down with her stupid high school drama and immature personality. She is always yelling at him for things that he has no control over. Now he and I have both recently received promotions within our job and have relocated to a new city and store location. When he called his girlfriend to inform her of the news her first comment to him was, " Seriously? So when will I ever see you? Never?!" ..... Come on little high schooler. She wasn't even proud of her man being promoted to a great position. He is one of the most mature guys I have ever met. He may be a few months younger than me, but he has the same charasmatic and genuine maturity that guys years older than me carry. I always would say he was the perfect example of a guy I need to find, until I realized he was the one I wanted ultimately.
That leaves me here, with a blog that will remain anonymous. I will stay a secret, and he will be M. I'm that girl, that hopeless romantic. My friends will always ask me who is he? I simply reply, "Oh, he's just some guy..."
Just looking at the title of this blog, it's set mainly around boys. More specifically, one boy. A boy I can't get. I know, cue the violins! No, it's not like that. He is my best friend and I am crazy in love with him. Now here's the kicker....he has a girlfriend. Even worse, she is only 17 and still in high school. I know this sounds like a Taylor Swift song, but it's my life right now. I hang out with him everyday, whether it is at work or at one of our houses. He stays the night at my place, I sleep on his couch with him. We are literally inseperable. There were months at a time were we would have sleepovers 5 out of the 7 days a week. Now, when I say sleepovers, I don't mean hooking up because that's not whats going down. Me being 21 and him 20, we stay up late either talking or watching movies, especially Disney movies :)
So, where did this all begin? We started working together a little over two years ago at a new restaurant that opened. We instantly got along because of all the similarities we share. Fastforward to now and you will find our friendship fully grown into us being BFF's (no we have never actually said BFF to one another). So why am I in such a pickle? Because I believe he has feelings for me too, but he is stuck. No, I'm not one of those girls who thinks she can get anyone. If anything I have no self esteem! But too many moments have occured where he has said something or done something suggesting more than friendly gestures.
How do I change this situation I'm in? This is a question I ask myself daily. Being his best friend, I would never do anything to purposely jeopardize his relationship with her, but I hate sitting back watching her break him down with her stupid high school drama and immature personality. She is always yelling at him for things that he has no control over. Now he and I have both recently received promotions within our job and have relocated to a new city and store location. When he called his girlfriend to inform her of the news her first comment to him was, " Seriously? So when will I ever see you? Never?!" ..... Come on little high schooler. She wasn't even proud of her man being promoted to a great position. He is one of the most mature guys I have ever met. He may be a few months younger than me, but he has the same charasmatic and genuine maturity that guys years older than me carry. I always would say he was the perfect example of a guy I need to find, until I realized he was the one I wanted ultimately.
That leaves me here, with a blog that will remain anonymous. I will stay a secret, and he will be M. I'm that girl, that hopeless romantic. My friends will always ask me who is he? I simply reply, "Oh, he's just some guy..."
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